90 from the 90's

What
a
silly
sad
son of a bitch
I am.

Thinking about
a girl
that hasn't called
in a week.

Wondering
what went
wrong.

No words
no reasons
no explanations
just a sinking feeling
inside
that another one is
gone.

Not knowing what
qualities I have
or
how to use them.

Another
one gets
away.

Leaves me
drinking a Little Kings
and smoking Generals Lights
(as if it being a Light is
better for me)
wondering
what
went
wrong.

Just enough
pride
not to call her
but not enough
to move on.

I sit here drinking
and smoking
and wondering
and waiting;
waiting for
the games to end.
because I don't
know how to
play them.